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RE: You gotta love it page 3This is a discussion thread · 32 replies Paula: [nq:1]: My brother grew up in California, moved to NY to live for several : years and then to Texas, ... to convince everyone that they are real. That's got to be a Los Angeles thing, not a San Francisco thing.[/nq]My aunt was recently lamenting the fact that it is hitting her NoCal neck of the woods, but I think the farther you get from Hollywood, the safer you are. [nq:1]I hope. The other day, I was out for drinks with friends and lamenting the fact that I'm about to ... to go two seconds without five people randomly talking to you anywhere you go, you don't know anything about California."[/nq]I have found that people generally tend to introduce themselves to new people moving in, so you should meet some people and maybe even have some new friends before too long if you want them. They don't tend to keep bugging you, though, except for my neighbors who are in their 80's and in everybody's business. That's okay with me because I really like them and they love my dogs so they are happy to check in on them and help out if I have to be gone for a long day or something. In fact, a couple of my dogs were over at their house this afternoon because my kids went over there after taking the dogs for a walk and they ended up running around the neighbor's back yard while my kids were stuffed full of yummy snacks. With most people I've known in my 40 years in CA, if you don't reciprocate visiting and chatting, theydon't keep bugging you after the initial introductions, for the most part. I don't go to dog parks, so I can't tell you if all the nosy people hang out there or not. I went to college in a small town. People would look pityingly at me and try to get me to join them whenever I went to movies or out to eat alone. I was glad to get back to CA where they seem to get that I might actually be at the movie or restaurant alone because I want to be alone. Paula "Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy, so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay
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Natty Dread: [nq:1]No one in this neighborhood has a yard, aside from a couple of postage stamps. We all rely on this ... give a crap about their dogs. It's because people look at them as a good way of meeting other people.[/nq]Could an alternate explanation be that some people (like me, for example) really love their dogs, play and interact with them constantly at home, and take them to dog parks to give them a chance to romp and play with others of their own kind?
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Tee: [nq:2]I was born and raised in NJ (Cape May / Wildwood[/nq][nq:1]No kidding? I have/had a lot of family there. My father was born and raised there and my grandmother ran a maternity house across from WHS. Where did you grow up?[/nq] The house I spent longest in (age 2-12) was in Townbank which is part of N. Cape May on the bay. Spent 2 years living in Cape May & W. Cape May and 2 years living in Wildwood. Had 2 years at WHS and the rest at Lower Cape May Regional. One side of my family always lived in the Villas and the other side in Court House. When you live in any of those parts you're pretty much from the whole area because they're all so closely integrated where locals are concerned. Now in the summer you can move about and not see anyone you know for all the tourists. Tara
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Janet B: [nq:1]The house I spent longest in (age 2-12) was in Townbank which is part of N. Cape May on the ... are concerned. Now in the summer you can move about and not see anyone you know for all the tourists.[/nq]No kidding. We spent a few weeks every summer in the "bunglow" in back of my grandmother's house, and then we moved on to motels with better accomodations. My sister lives in SH (as much as possible while working a job in NYC). My father wanted to move me to CMCH when I was ~15, but finally decided that would disrupt my Northern NJ life too much. How old are you Tara? Maybe you know some of my family! Janet B www.bestfriendsdogobedience.com
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Tee: [nq:2]The house I spent longest in (age 2-12) was in ... and not see anyone you know for all the tourists.[/nq][nq:1]No kidding. We spent a few weeks every summer in the "bunglow" in back of my grandmother's house, and then ... would disrupt my Northern NJ life too much. How old are you Tara? Maybe you know some of my family![/nq] Small world  I'm 32 and the oldest in my family. My parents are 52 & 53. One surname is Stout and the other is Watts. Tara
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Tara: [nq:1]Could an alternate explanation be that some people (like me, for example) really love their dogs, play and interact with them constantly at home, and take them to dog parks to give them a chance to romp and play with others of their own kind?[/nq]Only sort of. Bonding is one thing, expecting everyone else to entertain your dog, even when its to their detriment, and not having even the most rudimentary control of your dog (I'm using the term "your dog" in the generalized sense as I don't know you or your dog of course) speaks more of a cop out than a reason. Most of the owners in my local dog run that I would label "idiots" truly love their dogs, but that has nothing to do with whether or not they actually take responsibility for their dogs behavior or even for their well being in any offlead practical sense. Tara
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Suja: [nq:1]Only sort of. Bonding is one thing, expecting everyone else to entertain your dog, even when its to their detriment, ... sense as I don't know you or your dog of course) speaks more of a cop out than a reason.[/nq]I will start off by admitting that I don't have the best behaved dogs in the world, just ones that aren't allowed to blow me off. Still, I routinely hear 'At least YOUR dogs listen to you', 'How did you get them to do that', 'I wish my dogs listened has as good', etc. While I do a fair bit of socializing at the dog park (necessary also since I'm one of the people who are on the hook about maintaining the dog park), I also keep a close eye on my two. I also routinely entertain other people's dogs, teach them a little manners, and the occasional command or two. I don't really mind, but I can see how it would be a problem for other people. Suja
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Melanie L Chang: Could an alternate explanation be that some people (like me, for example) really love their dogs, play and interact with them constantly at home, and take them to dog parks to give them a chance to romp and play with others of their own kind?That's fine, but they should also keep in mind that not everyone brings their dogs to the park to play with other dogs, and that even if the purpose is to socialize your dogs with other dogs, you should be able to control your dogs, and you should be paying attention to what they're doing, not talking on your cell phone fifty yards away or flirting with the girl with the yellow Lab while your dog gets into fights with other dogs.And remember, this is not a "dog park." This is a park that is de facto off lead because the cops don't enforce leash laws. There is a fenced dog run in the park, but I don't take my dogs in there. I certainly wouldn't expect other dogs to leave me and my dogs alone if I did. I take my dogs to other parts of the park, and only when those other parts are free of other owners and dogs.If this were suburbia, where most people have yards, it would be one thing. In suburbia, the entire point of the dog park is so dogs can get together to play. But here in the city, we don't have any other choices when it comes to exercising our dogs off lead. In other words, for all of us dog owners those of us who have dogs who LOVE to play with strange dogs all day long (and those dogs are relatively rare), and those of us who don't this is it. We have to share. If there were some other place my dogs and I could go and really be alone, that's where I would go, but there isn't. And I know that I am not the only dog owner in the neighborhood in this position. Because the few people I am friends with at the park, are the ones who commiserate with me. So I feel like people should exhibit a tiny bit of common courtesy i.e., ASKING if their dogs can play with mine before expecting me and my dogs to be the welcome wagon as well as free obedience training dispenser. It's usually quite obvious that I am doing something with my own dogs and that we'd like to be left alone. We are usually way off in some corner, at some distance away from other people and dogs, and I am concentrating solely on my own dogs, playing games with them, training them, etc. I don't demand people to cede space to me and my dogs, but I also expect people to respect ours. If I saw a group of people playing Ultimate Frisbee at the park, I wouldn't suddenly just charge in, grab the disc, and start throwing it around without asking to join the game. And yet, that's exactly what other dog owners at the park are constantly trying to do to me and my dogs. It's just plain rude, and it makes me wonder what their manners are like in other aspects of their lives. Melanie Lee Chang > Form ever follows function. Departments of Anthropology and Biology > University of Pennsylvania > Louis Sullivan (Email Removed) >
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