Written by a cat this ancient text of unknown origin details the traditional feline methodology of bag-wrangling a human into respecting you. The text begins:
"..It is clear to us now that bags can be totally fun. But they are also suited for other purposes such as disguise and gaining respect. Here are simple tips on using bags to your advantage.."
If humans have been pestering you, hide in a bag and wait quietly.
Author: Olivier Bruchez
You may need to wait a while, so get comfortable.
Make sure you've chosen an appropriate bag that suits your size and shape.
Author: Missive Maven
Be sure to avoid leaving any tell 'tail' signs sticking out.
Author: Tabbymom Jen
Playing with the bag is acceptable.
You may also groom.
Begin to watch for feet.
Author: James and Esther
You'll know when you've found feet.
Try not to look surprised if they notice you.
Author: ancient history
You may also have your photo taken.
Author: Elke & Sven
You will have struck fear into the hearts of your humans. They will respect you.
If all else fails, play cute.
Avoid falling asleep, you may miss the action.
And you shall have respect!
An Unknown Cat
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People are waiting to help.