has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues? my husband and i are splitting up, and he's keeping Lola (my heart dog). the idea of not seeing here anymore is devastating me, and i'm sure will hurt her too. we're currently living in the same house in separate rooms, and Lola refuses to sleep with him, but instead sleeps in my bed or outside my door until i let her in.
i'm so worried about her. i'm sure she'll get over me, but will i get over her? my soon to be ex says he's not comfortable seeing me after the divorce, so he doesn't want me to see Lola either. anyone been through this before? any suggestions on how to deal with this?

also, will the dogs miss each other terribly? would getting a second dog help Manu, or should i just keep him as an only dog for a while? finding a dog that would be submissive enough not to provoke him, but still play rough enough to play with him might be difficult...
-kelly
1 2
has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues? my husband and i ... doesn't want me to see Lola either. anyone been through this before? any suggestions on how to deal with this?

If Lola sleeps with you and waits for you, why is he keeping her? I haven't been through this and have no suggestions, but I can't tell you how sorry I am that you're going through this.
also, will the dogs miss each other terribly? would getting a second dog help Manu, or should i just keep ... would be submissive enough not to provoke him, but still play rough enough to play with him might be difficult...

I'd keep him as an only. There will be an adjustment period for both of you, best not to add a dog during that time. And maybe Lola will pine for you and your future ex will get so tired of it that he gives her to you.
Mustang Sally
If Lola sleeps with you and waits for you, why is he keeping her? I haven't been through this and have no suggestions, but I can't tell you how sorry I am that you're going through this.

because he's vindictive and angry, and i'm initiatiating the divorce. technically Lola is his dog (he paid the fee at the shelter and his name is on the paperwork, this is before we were married). and he doesn't like Manu. plus, i think he'd be even more devistated than he already is if he didn't have her around. she'll be lovey to him in a pinch (if i'm not around). and she's adorable and will help an incredibly shy guy meet women. -)
I'd keep him as an only. There will be an adjustment period for both of you, best not to add ... will pine for you and your future ex will get so tired of it that he gives her to you.

that's possible... i do have a new job coming up which will involve some travel, so we'll have to see how things work out with Manu and my schedule anyway. a second dog may not even be possible with the travel.

thanks for your thoughts.
-kelly
because he's vindictive and angry, and i'm initiatiating the divorce. technically Lola is his dog (he paid the fee at ... in a pinch (if i'm not around). and she's adorable and will help an incredibly shy guy meet women. :-)

Heh. I guess those are good reasons, or some of them are anyway. Truthfully, Lola will probably get over you more quickly than you'll get over her. Dogs are incredibly resilient. It sucks though that you won't be able to see her.
Best wishes.
Mustang Sally
has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues? my husband and i are splitting up,

what a huge bucket of suck! i'm so sorry!
and he's keeping Lola (my heart dog). the idea of not seeing here anymore is devastating me, and i'm sure ... refuses to sleep with him, but instead sleeps in my bed or outside my door until i let her in.

i would have a very difficult time with that. just the thought of someone having the power to take my dog away from me makes me ill. i am *so* sorry.
i'm so worried about her. i'm sure she'll get over me, but will i get over her? my soon to ... doesn't want me to see Lola either. anyone been through this before? any suggestions on how to deal with this?

none whatsoever, except to hope that he soon comes to his senses. if he doesn't, i expect the separation will be harder on you than on Lola. i think dogs are much more adaptive than humans, when it comes to this sort of thing. she'll certainly miss you, but i'm sure she'll soon adjust to not having you around.
it's not going to be easy for you, though. having Manu around will help, but he's obviously not Lola.
also, will the dogs miss each other terribly? would getting a second dog help Manu, or should i just keep ... would be submissive enough not to provoke him, but still play rough enough to play with him might be difficult...

Manu will probably miss Lola for awhile, and it may take him time to adjust to the new living arrangements, but i advise you to wait and see before getting another dog. first of all, your ex may suddenly decide that being a single dog owner is not for him, in which case, you'd have to figure out what to do with three dogs. second, after an adjustment period, you and Manu may find out that you enjoy having a single dog household. i'm having second thoughts about adding another dog to my home, because, although harriet mourned terribly for elliott, when she snapped out of it, she blossomed into a completely new dog.

shelly http://www.cat-sidh.net
http://cat-sidh.blogspot.com /
has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues?

I haven't, but I'm so sorry, Kelly. How painful. My thoughts are with you.

Catherine
& Zoe the cockerchow
& Queenie the black gold retriever
& Rosalie the calico
First, I'm sorry to hear about this.
has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues?

Yup. When my wife and I divorced, I flew to a new city where a good job opportunity came up and spent a weekend apartment hunting. I returned to find that I was keeping the dog (I had assumed that Murphy would stay with the kids). So it was a wasted trip, but I was happy with the outcome.
my husband and i are splitting up, and he's keeping Lola (my heart dog). the idea of not seeing here ... but instead sleeps in my bed or outside my door until i let her in. i'm so worried about her.

My separation and divorce was amicable - it sounds like yours is too, what with both of you still living in the same house. Still, is your husband keeping Lola perversely?
i'm sure she'll get over me, but will i get over her? my soon to be ex says he's not ... doesn't want me to see Lola either. anyone been through this before? any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Keep it friendly. Your husband may come to realise that Lola should be with you - it would be a shame if obstinacy stood in the way.
also, will the dogs miss each other terribly?

For a while. Dogs are very resilient, though. Good luck.

Matt. Rocky's a Dog.
has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues?[/nq]My ex doesn't like having pets around so there were no dog custody issues. When it came to kids, he was more apt to fight. However, during our separation period he realized that he really didn't want to deal with two young children and childcare arrangements and all those things that I had handled and backed off. He also realized that I would do whatever it took to get custody. He wanted other things out of the divorce and we worked it out that way.

You may find that your ex also backs off once he realizes what it is really like to have Lola by himself, especially if she spends some time moping and pining. She'll most likely get over it, but maybe he'll get sick of it before she gets over it. If there are other things at issue, maybe you could trade some of them for Lola.

Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy, so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay
has anyone here been divorced or split up and had to deal with dog custody issues?

Fortunately not, but I feel for you here - sorry to hear about this. All of the pets here, for better or for worse, are in my name, so legality would not be an issue. DH doesn't have time to care for pets either, but loves having them. He's wise enough to realize that, and that they are fully "mine" with some minor help from him (weekend breakfasts, cat bedtime feeding on some nights). Of course, he is the primary finanical provider for them, so that could be a challenge if he was pissy in a nasty divorce I suppose. I'm counting on none of this ever being an issue, but I guess one never knows. We hit 25 next May, so just over 5 months to go!

Janet B
www.bestfriendsdogobedience.com
Show more