re: Dog Jokes page 2
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Life lessons learned from a dog
1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.2. Don't go out without ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by pissing on their shoes.
4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is most effective.
7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged shamefully out from under the bed).
8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:
Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Oh, never mind....
Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Oh, never mind....
Whar does a lazy dog chase? Parked cars!
Can you please explain the joke? I'm a foreigner and don't understand it. 
A man and a dog walk into a bar.
Man: "I will bet you the cost of a drink, that my dog, Rex, can talk."
Bartender: " ok, lets see it."
Man: "Rex, what do walls hold up?"
Rex: "Roof"
Man: "Rex, what is sandpaper like?"
Rex: "Rough"
Man: "Rex, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Rex: "Ruth"
Bartender: "Get out!!"
As they walk away Rex looks at the man and says, "Maybe I should I have said DiMaggio?"
Man: "I will bet you the cost of a drink, that my dog, Rex, can talk."
Bartender: " ok, lets see it."
Man: "Rex, what do walls hold up?"
Rex: "Roof"
Man: "Rex, what is sandpaper like?"
Rex: "Rough"
Man: "Rex, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Rex: "Ruth"
Bartender: "Get out!!"
As they walk away Rex looks at the man and says, "Maybe I should I have said DiMaggio?"