I have a 15-month old dog I got from the Anti-Cruelty society when she was a pup. Had I known the year I was about to face after that fateful day, I would have never brought the dog into the home. We began training in earnest and were doing really well. And then I fell down on the job when I bought and renovated my first home, getting pregnant (too exhausted to walk let alone pay attention to the dog...I ended up paying a dog walker to do the job!)
Needless, my dog suffered from all of this and now I am paying the consequences. We go to the dog beach every day for about an hour and she gets lots of excercise, which is a great. And when it is just her and me here at home, we are good together and she listens and is a great dog.
Here are the problems.
I have an assistant who comes to the house four days a week as I work at home. The dog thinks she is a play toy and jumps and nips and pees all over the floor in excitement. I brought in a behaviour trainer who showed the assistant how to deal with this and it worked! Until my assistant fell down on the job and is just letting the dog be freaky again.
Though it doesn't happen a lot, I do have friends come over. One is great, ignorning the dog completely and being relaxed and we are getting pretty good at being normal around her.
Others, my family, let off a stressed out vibe so strong I can feel it. I imagine it is a very clear signal to the dog, who then circles and nips at shoes and does whatever to say "No I am OK, like me." When the dog jumps, they do a variety of things such as screaming no, kneeing the dog in the chest, waving their hands in her face. Everything, it seems, but what I have asked, which is to ignore the dog and walk away.

After a while, these people tell me that it is annoying and I need to put the dog away. My sister, even after I explained that by doing that, I am prolonging the problem rather than training it out of her, still said it was annoying and how long would it take anyway. The answer, of course, was more than 15 minutes.
The dog had been to the beach for an hour that day so it wasn't that she hadn't been excercised. I should note here that she jumps on no one at the beach. Basically never ever jumps while she is there.

So, how do I train my dog to be normal around people when the people won't let me? One friend told me my dog was scaring her (uninvited) kid. I don't want to be rude to my friends and I want to have people over. But if I can't let my dog be a part of that, if I put her upstairs, she'll wail and bark...and that is also annoying.
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I have a 15-month old dog I got from the Anti-Cruelty society when she was a pup.

You can train your dog, but you can't necessarily train the people around you, as you have seen. If I were you, I'd give up trying to convince the people to change and work only with getting the dog to change.

It sounds to me like you have a similar situation to what I used to have: the dog is in charge. There are a bunch of ways to address that but the first, best thing to do is get her to an obedience class. You will probably find that many of the dogs in class are close in age to yours it just seems to be a common "breaking point" for a lot of people (at least around here).
I use a (pretty simplified) version of NILIF (nothing in life is free) the dogs must follow a command before getting attention or food.

I have also found confessing my sins here in this newsgroup to be helpful. Emotion: smile I have received a ton of good advice which has helped me a lot.
There's nothing wrong with separating your dog from the visitors if the dog freaks out when visitors come. I myself would give her the chance not to freak out, and then put her away for a bit if she did (give her a time-out). I would also work with her on a leash for a long time, I put a leash on Zoe every time someone came to the door. It makes it much, much harder for her to jump on people, and much, much easier for you to lead her away from people she is bothering.
Catherine
& Zoe & Queenie
I was starting to consider telling people they could come over if, and only if, they would participate in the dog thing. If they didn't want to, no hard feelings, just stay at home. Seemed so harsh, I am that desperate.
Thanks so much for the advice. The leash! I tried the leash thing with my assistant for a good long while (OK, I am sure it was incredibly erratic) and it didn't seem to work as well at all. Maybe the key word there is erratic.
Now, as for dog training class. OK. Did the personal trainor thing (dropped the ball on the follow up with the packing/moving/renovating thing) and then did the dog behaviorist (again...I can think of a ball being dropped). So. I guess I know how to work with the dog, will the class help? Maybe I should go back to the behavior gal.
I was starting to consider telling people they could come over if, and only if, they would participate in the dog thing. If they didn't want to, no hard feelings, just stay at home. Seemed so harsh, I am that desperate.

While I have a "love me, love my dogs" attitude, I do have some visitors who either don't like dogs or who just don't like certain dog behavior (like licking). I don't let the dogs bother those people.
Thanks so much for the advice. The leash! I tried the leash thing with my assistant for a good long ... was incredibly erratic) and it didn't seem to work as well at all. Maybe the key word there is erratic.

Well, I don't really understand. The dog is on the leash. You are holding the leash (or it is tied to something near you). The dog approaches the person. Then the dog does something inappropriate (too much sniffing, jumping up, licking, nudging, etc). You call the dog and then pull her toward you with the leash. The problem behavior ends, the guest is no longer being bothered.
Now, as for dog training class. OK. Did the personal trainor thing (dropped the ball on the follow up with ... know how to work with the dog, will the class help? Maybe I should go back to the behavior gal.

Personal training/behaviorist is fine, probably even better than class in some ways because you are getting one-on-one attention. (Although class is great for practicing with distractions! and of course it is less expensive.) But it doesn't sound like you do know how to work with the dog, from what you've said. The dog is still untrained. I'm not criticizing you, it took me a really long time to learn how to work with my dogs effectively. I am still learning.

Catherine
& Zoe & Queenie
While I have a "love me, love my dogs" attitude, I do have somevisitors who either don't like dogs or who just don't like certain dog behavior (like licking). I don't let the dogs bother those people.

Does your dog just sit upstairs and cry, then, during dinner? Or do you have it downstairs, straining at the leash to get some attention? I feel stupid but I don't know what to do here.
Well, I don't really understand. The dog is on the leash. You areholding the leash (or it is tied to ... and then pull her toward you with the leash. The problem behavior ends, the guest is no longer being bothered.[/nq]I guess the issue is that when the assistant is here, I am working and need to get my stuff done and I am sort of resentful that she knows how to get Chloe to stop jumping and stuff (walk away and if necessary, stand behind the gate) and she doesn't. Back when she was doing it, there were times when she would stand behind the gate and even when Chloe would sit she would not approach, but would sort of taunt the dog.

I used to try to get Chloe to go up to her on-leash but the dog never was able to learn. And the assistant would wave her hands in front of the dog and say "good dog" when the dog jumped and stuff. She was trying to say "be a good dog" but dogs aren't really into sentences. So. Since I am at work...do I just crate the dog when the assistant is here?
Personal training/behaviorist is fine, probably even better than classin some ways because you are getting one-on-one attention. (Althoughclass is great ... you, it took me a really long time to learn how to workwith my dogs effectively. I am still learning.

No offense taken...it is probably pretty obvious that I am completely clueless. I went with the behaviourist because I could schedule around my time. As I was having work done on the house, I was pretty much a mental wreck and unrealiable. I didn't think I could make a class. Seems obvious as I write: it is a commitment...a priority decision...do I want to make this a priority or do I want to ignore it and be frustrated for the next 15 years. I think you are right in that a class would be good for training the dog with distractions...maybe then the behaviourist can train me.
Interestingly enough, I have a pile of cheese rinds here on the desk and we are doing some "stay" training. I recognize that if I can give the dog something to DO other than jump (lie down stay and wait for nummy yummy), it may alleviate the problem. Sheesh this stuff is obvious when you actually make space in your brain to think about it...
Does your dog just sit upstairs and cry, then, during dinner? Or do you have it downstairs, straining at the leash to get some attention? I feel stupid but I don't know what to do here.

this is where a crate comes in very handy. it's part management tool, part training tool. if you teach your dog that her crate is a good, safe place to hang out and relax, then you can put her in her crate during those times when you've got house guests and don't want the dog interacting with them.
I guess the issue is that when the assistant is here, I am working and need to get my stuff ... to get Chloe to stop jumping and stuff (walk away and if necessary, stand behind the gate) and she doesn't.

unfortunately, as you've found, you can't make others behave reasonably. i know how frustrating it is to have someone undermine all the hard work you've done to train your dog. there's not a whole lot you can do except try to minimize as much as possible the amount of time those people spend with your dog. every time someone like that allows or encourages your dog to misbehave, it undoes the work you've done. they're counter-training your dog for you.
Since I am at work...do I just crate the dog when the assistant is here?

yep! you can give her a toy or treat, but if she's used to her crate, she'll probably settle down and take a nap.
No offense taken...it is probably pretty obvious that I am completely clueless.

well, you're not completely clueless. you know enough to realize that there are problems and that you need to change things.
do I want to make this a priority or do I want to ignore it and be frustrated for the next 15 years.

i think you *do* want to make it a priority. really, it may seem like a pain in the *** right now, but it doesn't take that much of a time/effort investment to get huge pay-offs. you'll get back what you put into your dog with interest.
I think you are right in that a class would be good for training the dog with distractions...maybe then the behaviourist can train me.

that's exactly* what a trainer or behaviorist does. they do not train your dog, they train *you to train your dog. you'll likely find that once you understand how to handle things, your dog will pick up on training very quickly. the human is almost always the weakest link in dog training.
Interestingly enough, I have a pile of cheese rinds here on the desk and we are doing some "stay" training. ... dog something to DO other than jump (lie down stay and wait for nummy yummy), it may alleviate the problem.

bingo!
this is also something that will apply to your problem of her being a pain in the butt during meals. once her stay command is pretty reliable, you can having her stay while you eat. once that is pretty reliable, you can start using it during meals with guests. it will be much easier to give her something to do (stay) instead of expecting her to refrain from doing something (begging).
Sheesh this stuff is obvious when you actually make space in your brain to think about it...

ha! it sounds to me like you're well on your way to sorting things out. you just need a little help from a trainer and a little time and patience. good luck!

shelly
http://home.bluemarble.net/~scouvrette>> http://cat-sidh.blogspot.com

What I tell you three times is true.
Lewis Carroll
Although I am known for being a soft touch, I can't stand having the dogs begging during dinner, so I never give them anything until I'm finished eating. Since they know they will get something at the end, they're nearby but not imploring. When small visitors come, the dogs hang around near that chair, as they are allowed to hoover up crumbs, but not to beg.

When I do give the dogs a time out, they aren't vocal about it. I never open a door to them when they're being noisy (unless they go completely ballistic which usually means something's up... some dangerous threat to the perimeter such as a deer or a possum).

I don't use the crate anymore, I just give time-outs in a separate room from the one I'm in. They are just brief (but can be longer if I need a longer break from the dog). If someone was pestering me while I worked, yes, I would probably correct a few times and then remove her from the scene if she wasn't responding. The problem, it seems to me, isn't your assistant it's that your dog is still untrained.

I will sometimes give people tips on how to handle the dogs, but I also don't let the dogs bug people. Zoe goes completely berserk when one of my friends comes over she adores him and falls all over herself trying to leap at him and get loves, which for some reason he doesn't like. Emotion: smile He knows she will settle down after a few minutes, and so do I, but I encourage her to settle down faster each time.
snip
do I want to make this a priority or do I want to ignore it
and be frustrated for the next 15 years.

Well, that states the dilemma pretty clearly! I agree with Shelly that the time you invest now will pay off bigtime. Teaching your dog and learning with her will also help you bond to each other she won't be bugging the living daylights out of you, and your relationship will improve greatly! That was my experience with Zoe.
And as I've said here before, Zoe is really happier when I'm firmly in charge she is clearly less anxious.
I think you are right in that
a class would be good for training the dog with distractions...maybe then the behaviourist can train me. Interestingly enough, I ... alleviate the problem. Sheesh this stuff is obvious when you actually make space in your brain to think about it...

Treats are key. When I first got Queenie (about 3 months ago) I wore a little purse with treats in it so that I could randomly ask for and reward behavior.

Catherine
& Zoe & Queenie
Does your dog just sit upstairs and cry, then, during dinner?

Mine don't. Ranger puts himself in a down-stay about 6' from the table. Duke lies under my feet. No crying, no begging, no pestering.
Or do you have it downstairs, straining at the leash to get some attention?

Leash. Butt or foot (yours). Sit on leash or step on leash. Ignore attempts at pesterment unless dog knows "down/stay" if dog knows "down/stay", USE IT.
...I used to try to get Chloe to go up to her on-leash but the dog never was able to learn.

Chloe doesn't need to approach other people. Leash her to you. Yeah, if you have to wander from room to room in the course of your work, the dog has to follow you. Mine do that anyway, so I guess I don't consider that a problem.
...do I want to make this a priority or do I want to ignore it and be frustrated for the next 15 years.

Hey, I waited 10 years to do something about Ranger's fence-jumping. I think things get prioritized in the order it bugs you, and the whole "interacting with visitors" thing seems to be high on your list right now.
Interestingly enough, I have a pile of cheese rinds here on the desk and we are doing some "stay" training. ... alleviate the problem. Sheesh this stuff is obvious when you actually make space in your brain to think about it...


Mary H. and the Ames National Zoo:
Raise A Fund, ANZ Babylon Ranger, ANZ MarmaDUKE, and Rotund Rhia
To everyone who is replying to my problem, thank you! There is so much good advice here and obviously people who want to help. I am actually going to print this out and highlight the things I need to look toward. Chloe is a super great dog, in all actuality. She is quickly trained, when I do it, and wants to be good. She is the fastest dog on the beach, every day (I should have been a soccer mom), and is pretty good at fetching (she may leave the ball in odd places after the fetch). Most of all, she is still WITH me and loving me after this stupid year when all I could do was ignore her and hope for the best.

I sorta feel that, now that about 99 percent of the construction is done on the house (we lived and worked here during the whole affair, which was a huge part of the problem), it is time to buckle down. Like we were doing before this whole move started. It is hard to concentrate on anything else in the midst of chaos and filth. But before it started I actually had her run in circles whenever I said "Go find the weapons of mass destruction." For my 40th birthday, my puppy training class teacher taught me how to get her to roll over. Of everything, it was the coolest gift I got. And all that was happening before four months old! I tell you, this dog is a star!

So, the thing is: She is pretty well trained around me: comes, knows stay for shortish period that lengthen with cheesey treats, is mindful at the beach, doesn't beg at the table (I was using that as an example of people being over and her having to be separated). I think that, because she does so well with me, I haven't done the rest of the training. I trained her to the extent that she fits into my life and that's great...but I didn't follow through. She is OK in her crate (actually thinks the car is her crate, really) and I could start putting her back in there for periods of time to reintroduce it as a good place.
I am not sure what advice I should follow with the assistant thing. I do absolutely see that it isn't the assistant (after all, it isn't her dog I am just now realizing) and that the dog needs work. When the behaviourist came over, she taught the assistant what to do. I guess she needs to come back and give me tools that don't include the assistant but help me deal with the two together.
And I think I will start doing training sessions at the beach, where there is an insane number of distractions for us.
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