When I was younger, so much younger than today, I had an ig, kept him for about four-and-a-half years, then left him in the care of the science teacher at school when I graduated. My ig never exhibited any of the nasty behaviors I've been reading about in this ng, which makes me think maybe it was not an iguana after all, or maybe not the green variety. Anyway, I am once again looking for an iggy pet or something of that ilk, and would recommend any advice on something that's not going to tear my hands apart or exhibit funky behaviors I need to be an expert on in order to deal with.

Guess that's why I always like Guinea pigs easy to care for, no special equipment required except a vacuumm cleaner to clean out their cage kickage, and no nasty behaviors or potential behaviors to deal with. I'm an apartment dweller in a major city, so I've got space limitations. Any and all herp or rept recommendations sought. If I had my 'druthers, I'druther have a nice big house with a "reptile room" and some really serious stuff goin' on in there, but my wife, ...

well ... that should say it all , she'll tolerate a herp/rep that's got the personality of a Guineapig! .
I've found out the hard way that free roaming herps just don't work, so you are going to be looking at critters that can live out their lives in whatever enclosures you can give them. I would recommend looking into bearded dragons, leopard geckos, and perhaps ackie monitors, as these species are relatively hardy in captivity, adjust well to human presence, and can be docile and handleable. If you don't mind snakes, several of the colubrid constrictors are also very hardy, docile, and very easy to care for - particularly king snakes and corn snakes. Anolis lizards and a number of geckos do well in captivity, but are more for show than handling.
If you are in a major city, there should be a local herp club. If you go to a few meetings, you can talk to the members, get advice, and see what is available.