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My brother's family has a cat named Pumpkin. He is ... named him he appeared on their doorstep on Halloween.

My (male) cat came with the name Dinah. The family's five-year-old had named him. I think this is the only time I changed the name of a pet that came to me pre-named; he immediately became Trouble. (And yes, it fits.) Dianne

So what you're saying is, he was already trouble!
Dinah? For a boy??

Catherine
& Zoe the cockerchow
& Queenie the black gold retriever
& Rosalie the calico
@netnews.upenn.edu:

: George was "Mr Kitty." Skeeter was "Mr. Poppy." His Bichon housemate was (and, I guess, is) named "Fally Foo Foo."

Oh.My. Please, someone rescue that poor Bichon.

Little Fally Foo Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the idiots who named him and bopping 'em on the head.

Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy, so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay
instead, the black fur migrated toward the lighter colored things and the white fur migrated to the darker colored things.

Har. That's what YOU think.
In reality, the black dog sat or shook on your light-colored things when you weren't around, and vice versa...
Sarah F.
V-NATCH Brenin, CGC; AD; S-TN-N, TG-O, TN-O, S-EAC-V, S-EJC-V, O-EGC-V Gwydion, Buddha Cat
NATCH Morag Thistledown, Novice and Open Triple Superiors, Novice & Open Versatility, TN-E, S-EJC, O-EAC, O-EGC
Robyn Roofwalker, Master of Meezer Mischief
Rocsi Cadarn, Novice Triple Superior, Novice & Open Versatility, S-OAC, S-OJC, O-OGC, O-EJC, EAC; AG1, OGTG
a song he heard once, with a line about "Virgil, come see Robert E. Lee".

That's "The night they drove old Dixie down", by Robbie Robertson, originally done by The Band, later covered by (and the lyrics changed by)Joan Baez, among others. And as Melinda noted, it's about the defeat of the Confederacy... although the version I'm familiar with (which is, AFIAK, Robertson's original) says "mud", not "blood".
WRT the chorus, it's the people on the other side who are singing etc...

Virgil Caine is my name and I drove on the Danville train 'til Stoneman's cavalry came and tore up the tracks again In the winter of '65,
we were hungry, just barely alive
By May the 10th, Richmond had fell
It was a time I remember, oh, so well
The night they drove old Dixie down
And all the bells were ringin',
The night they drove old Dixie down
all the people were singin'
Back with my wife in Tennessee, and one day she said to me, "Virgil, Quick! Come see! There goes Robert E. Lee." Now I don't mind chopping wood
and I don't care if my money's no good
Just take what you need and leave the rest
But they should never have taken the very best
The night they drove old Dixie down
And all the bells were ringin',
The night they drove old Dixie down
all the people were singin'
Like my father before me, I will work the land
And like my brother above me, I took a rebel stand Oh, he was just 18, proud and brave
But a yankee laid him in his grave
I swear by the mud below my feet
You can't raise a Caine back up when he's in defeat

The night they drove old Dixie down
And all the bells were ringin'
The night they drove old Dixie down
Well, I passed Melinda's comment re: Virgil onto David, who agrees that's probably right ("but I just like Joan Baez", speaking of non sequiturs).

Not a non sequiter; Joan Baez recorded the most popular version of the song - e.g. the one that still gets played on the radio occasionally. (Unfortunately, she also mangled some of the lyrics.)
(He also said "I didn't realize the 'dog newsgroup' was going to help me raise him." I said "I think you should take all the help you can get!")

There ya go.
It's almost like he's afraid of it, so there's something else going on here. Maybe?

Entirely possible, especially if a past owner stuck his nose in it.
He has no problems pooping outside. David's now thinking UTI or crystals or something, so he's going back to the vet to >either rule this out or treat it.

Always a good idea.
Only two problems, the peeing outside thing and the puppy chewing thing, like chewing David's CPAP mask...while David was still in it!

Labs are Big Time Chewers, as noted by others, and they tend to take a loog time to grow out of it. They're also notorious for EATING non-food items... I've always been sorry I didn't have a camera along the day after Eli had eaten an entire box of crayons. (Can you say "Technicolor Poop", boys and girls?)
I'll second the recommendation of extremely close supervision.
Sarah F.
V-NATCH Brenin, CGC; AD; S-TN-N, TG-O, TN-O, S-EAC-V, S-EJC-V, O-EGC-V Gwydion, Buddha Cat
NATCH Morag Thistledown, Novice and Open Triple Superiors, Novice & Open Versatility, TN-E, S-EJC, O-EAC, O-EGC
Robyn Roofwalker, Master of Meezer Mischief
Rocsi Cadarn, Novice Triple Superior, Novice & Open Versatility, S-OAC, S-OJC, O-OGC, O-EJC, EAC; AG1, OGTG