Not very long ago Ray commented here that I thrive on sympathy, or something to that effect. So, I want to say right off that I am not looking for sympathy with this post, but hoping for advice, comments, ideas or personal experiences. Anything!
Last Wed. I found out I have cancer... a lemon size tumor in my right lung (the "good" news is it hasn't spread beyond the lung). This is an entirely separate problem from my illness and surgery earlier this year, but it looks as though I'll be facing yet more surgery and I'm still recovering from the ulcer surgery.
Being in an already physically weakened state I am having to face the harsh reality that I may not be physically able to continue caring for my babies once my surgery/radiation treatment begins. And of course, there's always the possibility that my condition is terminal. I won't know the details until next week as my Oncologist is sending me to a pulmonary specialist who will make the determination of how to proceed - or IF to proceed.

I find myself forced to SERIOUSLY consider finding homes for my birds. My Will stipulates that upon my death my ex will get the birds and other pets. This was something we discussed and agreed on, but now I'm having second thoughts. The reason: last month he married the "she's just a friend" that he left me for back in 1996. He recently admitted that the reason he came back to me and sweet talked me into marrying him again in '97 was because the "she's just a friend" had just lost her husband (hubby #6) and wasn't interested AT THAT TIME in jumping into a new marriage. Needless to say, I do not want her or her relatives/friends to end up with my babies, and I KNOW
that's exactly what would happen.
Granted, I could change my Will but, quite frankly there is no one else, friend or family member, who wants these birds. So basically the ex is my only option in that respect.
So if I find out my cancer is terminal, or if I can no longer care for the birds properly during or after whatever course of treatment they decide on, I've reconciled myself to face the fact that they will have to go to new homes.. and I think I would rather die than lose them.

I just simply don't know what to do.
Please, has anyone been through anything like this? I'm not thinking clearly right now and I need advice... hope... encouragement.. something to cling to... please.
I can't stand the thought of giving up my birds! What if I can't find good homes for all of them? I've even thought about refusing treatment since I'm not really "sick" at this point. But eventually I'd still face not being well enough to take care of them. Everything in my life seems so totally hopeless.

Mama
~^~^~^~ Visit Mamabird's Nest: And My Photo Albums at: ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
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Not very long ago Ray commented here that I thrive on sympathy, or something to that effect. So, I want ... year, but it looks as though I'll be facing yet more surgery and I'm still recovering from the ulcer surgery.

That's terrible news. Good luck with the prognosis.

(snip)
So if I find out my cancer is terminal, or if I can no longer care for the birds properly ... fact that they will have to go to new homes.. and I think I would rather die than lose them.

In some places in the UK you can get people to come in to feed and change pet birds etc. while you're on holiday. Is there any service like that near you? Perhaps they could come in and do the hard work if you don't feel up to it. Or is there a local pet bird club or even pet store that could help? BTW much chemotherapy supposedly isn't so debilitating nowadays, though it's still far from fun :-(
Have you tried asking on the yahoo birds groups to see if anyone who can help lives locally? If the worst comes to the worst, they may also be a good way to find loving new owners.
I've even thought about refusing treatment since I'm not really "sick" at this point.

Don't even think about doing that. The earlier the treatment the more likely you'll be around to enjoy your birds for many more years.
But eventually I'd still face not being well enough to take care of them. Everything in my life seems so totally hopeless.

Have the doctors given you the details for local cancer support groups? If so, contact them. They can be very good at helping to sort out practical details and giving all kinds of support.
Mama ~[/nq]^~^~^~ Visit Mamabird's Nest: And My
Photo Albums at: ~[/nq]^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Good luck,
Alan
Not very long ago Ray commented here that I thrive on sympathy, or something to that effect. So, I want ... year, but it looks as though I'll be facing yet more surgery and I'm still recovering from the ulcer surgery.

Oh, Mama, I am sooo very sorry. I will be praying for you, and I want you to know that you are in my thoughts. You are a precious person. My Warmest Regards
Dave
I just simply don't know what to do. Please, has anyone been through anything like this? I'm not thinking clearly ... not being well enough to take care of them. Everything in my life seems so totally hopeless. Mama ~[/nq]^~^~^~ Visit Mamabird's Nest: And My
Photo Albums at: ~[/nq]^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Dear Mamabird:
You have been through a lot and still have a way to go.

I don't have personal experience with these choices, but I do know about fear and the unknown.
No one can or should tell you what to do. Only you can weigh the choices; and they are ones you know well as you have helped in suggesting them to others in the past. It always helps me to write the choices on paper, then put them in order until they are the way I want them.

Each day, each hour, each moment is a gift to use in the best way we know how. You have and you will continue to do that. You'll make the wisest and most loving choices for the birds and for yourself.

My family sends you strength and positive energy every day from this day on. We believe in you.

Sincerely,
Joanne and the feathered family
If it's right for you, then it's right, . . . . . for you!!!

Play - http://www.jobird.com
Pay for Play - http://www.jobird.com/refund.htm
Looking for Love? - http://www.jobird.com/hearts.htm Garden Kinder CDs
http://www.jobird.com/cd/gardenkinderhome.html
Everything in my life seems so totally
hopeless.

MB, nobody can walk in your shoes. Each one of us is unique. It is very important to man, or beast, to feel like they have a purpose. Right now, you have to concentrate all your energies on getting better. Look deep into your soul, and you will find the strength and purpose to go on. No one can make these decisions for you. Don't look back.

Kindest regards
Oh Mamabird,
Keep your chin up!! Who knows what the outcome will be. Until you find out that it is terminal enjoy your birdies. I know it is hard to not think of what will happen in the future, but until you are told that your time here on earth is limited don't worry yourself. You need all your strenght to get healthy and strong. There must be some kind of pet sitting service in your area that would come and feed your birds during your treatment. If I lived near you I would come and give you a hand for sure! Emotion: smile If it comes to having to find good homes for your birds, I will help you in any way I can.
NaDeana
PS: My birdies send great big beak clicks and wing hugs..
Not very long ago Ray commented here that I thrive on sympathy, or something to that effect. So, I want ... I'd still face not being well enough to take care of them. Everything in my life seems so totally hopeless.

Mama,I hope all goes well for you. I just visited your site, what beautiful birds you have! I agree with an earlier post(sorry can't remember who wrote it) don't give up, fight it now. I also agree that maybe having someone come in and help would be best, for you and your feathered friends. Emotion: smile Hopefully you will find that you aren't too sick as you go through treatment. My mother is on her 4th round of chemotherapy. She still gets, but it usually only very tired the day of and day after her treatments.

Early detection and treatment could literally mean your life, save it if you can. My mother was given only a year to live, 4 years ago, she is proving the Dr.s wrong every day. If you live any where close to Michigan I would be more than happy to volunteer my time to help you. I know I'm new here, but I also know I could never give up my babies. By asking for help it doesn't mean your looking for sympathy, we all need help once in a while. I sincerely hope your prognosis will be a positive one, and I hope you can find an answer to your dilema that will make you and your birds happy.

Good Luck to you.
Ginny aka PuterTroubles
Not very long ago Ray commented here that I thrive on sympathy, or something to that effect. So, I want ... not being well enough to take care of them. Everything in my life seems so totally hopeless. Mama ~[/nq]^~^~^~ Visit Mamabird's Nest: And My
Photo Albums at: ~[/nq]^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
OMG. You poor love. If my tears could cure you , you would be healthy now. I know a bit of how you must be feeling as some years ago a doctor decided that the lumps growing in my thuroid gland might be cancer. It took 6 months to get an appointment at the cancer hospital (good old NHS). Luckily it wasn't. I understand that you must be very frightened now, but don't give up. Too many people would be devastated if you weren't on this earth.
Take all the treatment offered. If it hasn't spread, they may be able to get it all in one go.
As far as your birds are concerned, start making enquiries now purely as a back up. See if you can find a bird lover to come and take over, or foster for the time you may be too ill to care for them.I don't think your ex is necessarily the right person any longer for your birds. Is the 'just friend' as into birds as you are? Take this time to sort out the things which can be sorted, and don't worry about the things which cannot. Stress will not help you fight this battle. Do whatever the doctors tell you to do, and look also at some of the alternatives to go along with conventional treatment. Have an aromatherapy massage once a week. If nothing else, it will de-stress you and help you relax.

I have heard that things like broccolli and processed tomatoes have cancer fighting properties. Alter your diet and cut out all processed stuff as far as you can. Eat a birdy diet, full of fresh veggies and fruit, nuts and seeds so that your body has all the strength it can have to fight this. I will be sending positive thoughts and praying to all the gods and ancestors to give you the strength you will need. A positive frame of mind will do a lot.
Keep strong my friend and know that you are loved! (huge cyber hug from me)
Everything in my life seems so totally

hopeless.

MB, nobody can walk in your shoes. Each one of us is unique. It is very important to man, or ... find the strength andpurpose to go on. No one can make these decisions for you. Don't look back. Kindest regards

Mama,
We agree with TCL. Nothing anyone can tell you can compare with how you feel about anything. The decisions you need to make are difficult, and only you can make them. We wish you well and are confident that you will find your way, just keep moving forward.
With great affection,
Jerry and Sue
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