I just took the opportunity of a cool break in the sprinkles to try another shot at Jerry's "Hot and Cold" exercise, and hopefully not repeat the mistakes he pointed out in my previous attempt.
First, I put on his collar, and let him out the door, with his usual voluntary wait before heading down the steps. He assumed he was going for a walk, so he once again started that way. I stopped a few feet away in a clear area, and after a few attempts on his part to pull me along on "his" walk, he allowed me to slacken the leash, and I started the exercise.
The first few times I told him "good boy", he reacted by looking toward me, which I also responded to with immediate praise. Mostly, he stood looking away, and a couple times when I said "good boy", he wagged his tail. After a while, being sure to stay as immobile as possible, he just wandered around near me, mostly looking in the trees or elsewhere. As instructed, I continued to praise him, which he blew off, but he did stay close, and even for a while sat on his own leash.

Sometimes he walked behind me, perhaps "guarding my rear", as a bodyguard might do. He did pay attention when I pulled the paper with Jerry's instructions, but when I showed it to him he determined it to be inedible and ignored further distraction. He would sometimes show a little interest if I shifted my weight or turned around, but he was clearly about as bored as I was. A couple times he rolled over and waggled his paws in the air, possibly seeking attention or just glad to be alive.

I had to touch him briefly to untangle his leash after one of his rolls, and he gave me eye contact at that time, as if to say "When do we stop this foolishness and get on with my walk?" I persisted in this for at least 20 minutes, and he never sat there looking at me, as was supposed to happen.
So, Jerry, where did I go wrong this time? I don't want to proceed to other exercises until we get this one down pat.
For all of you who are still munching your popcorn in the peanut gallery, I hope you realize that I am conducting a scientific experiment here. Jerry promises 100% success and nearly instant results. Maybe I'm still doing something wrong, so he is welcome to let me know and correct it. If I cannot get the results promised by following his instructions precisely, then all of you may delight in his debunking, and he will no longer be able to use 100%. But I sincerely hope I do succeed with Muttley.

Actually, I might be willing to take this experiment one step further. I would propose that Jerry and I post half the cost of my airfare to visit him in Florida with Muttley. If he can obtain the results he claims, I foot the bill, and I have a trained dog. If not, he foots the bill, and can no longer claim his absolute success guarantee. In any case, Muttley and I will get a vacation to sunny Florida. But I would wait until at least October for this, as I have been to Disney World in August, and it was Hell on Earth!
Maybe this would be a good human interest item for Jay Leno or Conan or one of the other late night or daytime gurus to present on their show. Can the madman of Usenet train the most infamous dog/owner team?

Eagerly awaiting your replies, but now I gotta go play some beach volleyball which I help organize on Fridays. And I gotta deal with off leash dogs trying to eat the ball. Sheesh.
Paul and Muttley
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For all of you who are still munching your popcorn in the peanut gallery, I hope you realize that I am conducting a scientific experiment here.

For whatever value of "science." I suppose the control group is, um, ... would that be NOTHING?
Great engineering there, Paul!!!

Melinda Shore - Software longa, hardware brevis - (Email Removed)

Prouder than ever to be a member of the reality-based community
For all of you who are still munching your popcorn ... you realize that I am conducting a scientific experiment here.

For whatever value of "science." I suppose the control group is, um, ... would that be NOTHING? Great engineering there, Paul!!!

We're not talking about a statistical study, but a supposedly sure-fire method that works for all dogs. Just like, if I buy a manufacturer's part, connect it up according to the reference design, and plug it in, it better work. If I build 100 of them, maybe one might not work, but Jerry's saying 100%.
So, yes, my "experiment" is valid. One failure is all it takes to discredit the 100% claim. If that changes to, say, 95%, then we'd need a statistically meaningful number. No control group is necessary, unless you believe dogs train themselves. And we're not talking relative success rates of different methods.
Paul and Muttley
I just took the opportunity of a cool break in the sprinkles to try another shot at Jerry's "Hot and Cold" exercise, and hopefully not repeat the mistakes he pointed out in my previous attempt.

Up to #1A already, EH?
Let's see, there's 26 letters in the English alphabet, so then what?

Start using Roman numerals?
I think you're probably going to need the Chinese alphabet before this is all said and done.
Carry on, Garth!

Handsome Jack Morrison
Don't mess with old farts!
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,286847,00.html

Free condoms for Mexico!
http://www.tcsdaily.com/article.aspx?id=062807C
Immigration bill goes down in flames! Yip-ee-i-oh, yip-ee-i-ay!

Freakin' arrogant putas.
"Cloture Passes and I Re-assess My Patriotism"
http://shotsacrossthebow.com/archives/002724.html
Control-freaks from the "reality-based" community are at it again! http://www.examiner.com/a-801194%7EGet your hands off our talk radio.html

Way to go, Vikings!
http://gatesofvienna.blogspot.com/2007/06/for-mohammedan-free-denmark.html

United States 2, Mexico 1
Too bad, muchachas putierrez! Better luck next time, putas! http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/24/sports/soccer/25goldcup.html ? r=2&ref=soccer&oref=slogin&oref=slogin
We're not talking about a statistical study, but a supposedly sure-fire method that works for all dogs.

You use the word "statistics" as if you understand what it means, but apparently you don't. What you're proposing isn't "science" although I guess it's a sign of the times that you think it is.
I'm no Jerry fan (AS IF) but if your track record has any predictive value whatsoever it looks very unlikely indeed that you'll be able to follow Jerry's program closely enough to be able to make any statement about it whatsoever. Or any valid statement, that is - G-d knows that incompetence and stupidity haven't encouraged you to keep quiet before.
Melinda Shore - Software longa, hardware brevis - (Email Removed)

Prouder than ever to be a member of the reality-based community
Actually, I might be willing to take this experiment one step further. I would propose that Jerry and I post ... his absolute success guarantee. In any case, Muttley and I will get a vacation to sunny Florida. Paul and Muttley

OMG. This is great entertainment. I'm not a big fen of Da Boss but Goddess help anyone who tries to help this fool.
You use the word "statistics" as if you understand what it means, but apparently you don't. What you're proposing isn't ... Or any valid statement, that is - G-d knows that incompetence and stupidity haven't encouraged you to keep quiet before.

This is like watching a train wreck with a stadium full of cheering onlookers.

Lynne
in thread Lynne (Email Removed) whittled the following words:
This is like watching a train wreck with a stadium full of cheering onlookers.

This is like watching a train wreck with a stadium full of JEERING onlookers.
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