So my iguana was about 50 years old and the thing looked like it was in agony. It has been reported to be walking sideways lately and loosing a ton of scales. Upon inspecting the scales that were falling out, I saw that they were due to these red lesions on the iguanas back. For fear of some disease being loosed on my family, I donned a pair of rubber cleaning gloves and grabbed the mangy thing and sawed his head off in the garage. I did not stop to think about the massive amount of blood that began to spurt all over the garage and got on my arms and shirt, pretty much everywhere due to such a gushing wound as a decapitated head obviously is.

What I want to know is if I am at risk of contracting any illness from the iguanas blood that could jeopardize my life. You may think I am heartless, but I really put that thing out of it's misery and it was for the best. If anyone knows anything about this subject please inform me of what I should do. Thank you.
-Jimmy Logan
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Slickwater (Email Removed) typed this:
So my iguana was about 50 years old and the thing looked like it was in agony. It has been ... the best. If anyoneknows anything about this subject please inform me of what I should do. Thank you. -Jimmy Logan

Well, there's herpes.
Did you eat him, or at least drink the blood?
fr0glet
If there is any possibility that this is a legitimate post, I have but one question. You SAWED his head off? If you just had to use carpentry tools, I would think a quick blow to the head with a hammer would have sufficed.
Don't worry about the blood, just beware of the Iguana Mafia.
Roger
Roger Helms (Email Removed) typed this:
If there is any possibility that this is a legitimate post, I havebut one question. You SAWED his head off? ... to the head with a hammer wouldhave sufficed. Don't worry about the blood, just beware of the Iguana Mafia. Roger

Couldn't possibly be legit, Roger... he claimed 50 years. That's far beyond the estimated lifespan of an iguana in captivity, even those kept by experts don't live that long.
fr0glet
50 years? LOL..I didn't even pay that any attention. Gettin' slow inmy old age.
Roger
Could'nt a local vet have euthinized it? How greusome. Or...the handyman with the tools could have made a miniature guillotine. Or at least a hatchet. Damn Hannibal.
-Jimmy Logan

(o o)
, ooO ( ) .
Please > don't feed the > TROLL's ! >' Ooo ' > >

ooO Ooo
the 50 years is in Iguana years retards. Good thing its dead.
Same guy just posted to rec.pets.birds with more-or-less the same story, only it was his 'parrot'. So for this reason I will post a 'Song for Trolls', that I picked up years ago floating around the Usenet. Sung to the tune of 'Modern Major General'.
I am the very model of a Newsgroup personality.
I intersperse obscenity with tedious banality.
Addresses I have plenty of, both genuine and ghosted too, On all the countless newsgroups that my drivel is cross-posted to. Your bandwidth I will fritter with my whining and my snivelling, And you're the one who pays the bill, downloading all my drivelling. My enemies are numerous, and no-one would be blaming you For cracking my head open after I've been rudely flaming you.

I hate to lose an argument (by now I should be used to it). I wouldn't know a valid point if I was introduced to it. My learning is extensive but consists of mindless trivia, Designed to fan my ego, which is larger than Bolivia. The comments that I vomit forth, disguised as jest and drollery, Are really just an exercise in unremitting trollery. I say I'm frank and forthright, but that's merely lies and vanity, The gibberings of one who's at the limits of his sanity.

If only I could get a life, as many people tell me to; If only Mom could find a circus freak-show she could sell me to; If I go off to Zanzibar to paint the local scenery; If I lose all my fingers in a mishap with machinery; If I survive to twenty, which is somewhat problematical; If what I post was more mature, or slightly more grammatical; If I could learn to spell a bit, and maybe even punctuate; Would I still be the loathsome and objectionable punk you hate?

But while I have this tiresome urge to prance around and show my face, It simply isn't safe for normal people here in cyberspace. To stick me in Old Sparky and turn on the electricity Would be a fitting punishment for my egocentricity. I always have the last word; so, with uttermost finality, That's all from me, the model of a Newsgroup personality.

Gloria
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