Hello, I'm writing because I am in extremely distrout about hurting (killing)my poor cat. I had Matchez for 17 years. Very smart and loving cat. I made the mistake of not taking him to the vet for annual check ups as he got older. During his final visit to the vet i discoverd he was dealing with hyperthyroidism and likely heart and liver damage.

Matchez had hyperthyroidism and I didnot know it. He had lost lot of weight and would throw up once a week. But I thought he was just getting old and not liking fish flavored food anymore. He would eat and drink alot durning the last year of his life. He started being vocal during night's sometimes waking me up. All signs of problems and all I overlooked.

One night after coming home from work Matchez was mewoing and would not stop. I picked up the broom stick and hit a chair with it on purpose that he was standing behind. I knew it would not not him as I just wanted to send him a message. The brush part of the broom broke and it made me upset that I broke the broom. AT the time Matchez made it run for the sofa. I swang the broom stick over my head and toward him as he was going under the sofa. The stick got him on back of his leg and he screamed like he never has before. I knew I had done some serious damage. I took a seat on the sofa. Matchez came from under and went in the balcony for some fresh air. He seemed hot. He could not walk on the leg I hit. He was draging his body around. 5 minutes later he dragged him self where I was sitting and put his paw on my feet. It was like he was telling me something. Maybe he knew I had made a mistake. I have issues and sometimes I do dum things. I think my cat knew that.

Next day I take him to the vet. Not thinking any thing but to just get his leg fixed up. After checking him the vet tells me that the leg looks bad and defentiley need x-ray. Which of course I expected. But then she went in to all the other problems she noticed in him. She said he looks to have hyperthyroidism which has cost major weight loss, and possibly heart and liver damage. The leg looked badly hurt too and most likely would require surgery. She explained that it would be a hard process for him and could be in thousands in cost. And that the leg alone. The initial cost for the cast and testing was $1800 and most likely more if the leg needs surgery.

At the moment I did not have all of the money and I asked the vet what my options were. I asked her that if i could just take him home like that. She told me Matchez was in extreme pain and he might not be showing it because cats don't like to show pain and he also might still be in shock. She recommend euthanasia. She said it's very rare that they recommend that option but in Matchez case due to his age, leg and other problems it would not probably be worth for him to go through the receiving process. And even if I had somehow come up with money for the surgery she said the surgen could refuse to do it because the cats already poor health.

I sat there confused thinking about what I should do. I didn't have the money on that very day. Vet doesn't want me to take the cat back home just as he is because it too curl to do.

So i made the decision. I asked the vet and the nurse if i was doing the right thing and what did they think. They told me I'm doing right by my Matchez. That he is in pain. Not only leg but other major issues. That he has lived a long life and I don't need to put him through all the recovery.

I went in the final room and Matchez is brought in. We are left alone till I am ready. Matchez looked nervous and wanted to leave out of there. I took some pictures,cried and press the button for the vet to come in. Matchez passed away in my arms as I told him "I love you, I love you"

Now few days later I feel like I completely did the wrong thing. I should had done my best to get him treatment. I should had used my credit cards or went home with him and see what other cheper places I could had taken him to. Sure he was in pain but I'm also sure that he was not looking for a way out of his life. When i held him for the last time that did not look like someone who was ready to die.

I killed my cat because I pushed him to the point of no recovery. Hyperthyroidism can be cured. I let my beloved friend down by being immature and stupid. He lived a good life but had a horrible final 15 hours of life. I hope he forgives me. I have been through alot in my life and have emotional issues. I had no plans of getting a petbut Matchez was just meant to come to my life when I found him in the ally as a small small kitten. I don't ever get a per again cause I don't wanna act out on a poor animal ever again. I'm sorry Matchez. I hope you enjoyed your time on earth with me. Good bye. I love u. Neeraj.

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