Mark Twain “She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. ”

Mark Twain “It were not best that we should all think alike; it is the difference of opinion that makes horse races. ”

Mark Twain “One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives. ”

Mark Twain “Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for "the universal brotherhood of man" - with his mouth. ”

Mark Twain “Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed. ”

Mark Twain “Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately. ”

Mark Twain “It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. ”